How to: Score a date offline

With an unmatched swipe to the right the only humiliation one has to suffer these days, following an unsuccessful attempt to ask out the object of their affection, it’s unsurprising that those willing to make a more gallant effort are dwindling. Still, ever the romantics, we’re hopeful that the tide may turn. Here, some tips to transform an infatuation into a date, sans the slew of online dating aids we’ve come to rely upon.

1. Don’t be weird
With no online profile at your fingertips, you’ll need to make a concerted effort to disguise the fact that this isn’t the first contact you have ever had with your proposed paramour. Don’t drop in any of the extensive facts you may have learned about them through the thesis-worthy research you’ve undertaken on Facebook.

2. String sentences together
While your minimal character Facebook Messenger volleys could give Djokovic a run for his money, when it comes to conversing face-to-face, make sure your vocabulary is void of txt abbreviations. And seeing as you will no longer have humorous emojis at the ready, keep the topic interesting and your banter witty.

3. Put in some groundwork
The fear of having to visibly conceal your rejection may prevent you from acting as swiftly as you would when delivering the date request instantly via a selfie snapchat, but if you let the conversation flow you’ll find a natural lead into suggesting you spend more time together. They eat? Bonus, so do you. Perhaps dinner one evening?

4. Start to interact with those actually around you
The majority of those at the bar are buried in their smartphones, swiping through potential suitors within their surrounding 25m radius or determining whether the crying with laughter emoji in response to their recently updated photo is a sign of endearment. This is your chance: make eye contact, start a conversation, offer to buy a drink, or, heaven forbid, dance with them if they’ll let you.


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