Are you a gym tool?

So, you like to “look after yourself”. But at what point does that fitness habit become the behaviour of a self-obsessed arse? Here are the warning signs.

The team at Esquire put together a run-list of telltale signs that’ll help you spot a gym tool a mile away or bring you back down to earth if you’ve become one…

1. You don’t exercise, you train.

2. You once did a class with ‘jam’ in the title.

3. You hold an opinion on the efficacy of the Power Plate.

4. You’ve used the gym hair dryer on body parts other than your head.

5. In your Facebook profile picture you’re not wearing a shirt.

6. You have the Euro dance cover of “Boys of Summer” as your ringtone.

7. You tried pilates but later reflected: “Did it really challenge me enough?”

8. You moved your wedding date because it didn’t fall on a designated rest day.

9. You’re on nodding terms with the gym maintenance team.

10. You’ve written out a fitness program for your girlfriend. And she’s not taking it seriously enough.

11. On your first triathlon entry form, you selected “intermediate.”

12. You use the Nutrition section of Men’s Health for dinner party inspiration.


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