• 

23 July 2012

Breaking up is hard to do, but there comes a point in every average man’s life that it must be done.

There may be a number of ways to call it a day, however some are infinitely better than others. To ensure your break up is as smooth as possible, take heed of the following tips.

1. Attempt to shift responsibility.
Turn yourself into the problem to try and cunningly trick her into dismissing you first. Infidelity, although perhaps the most obvious way to trigger a break up, is the inhumane approach. Employing a strategic list of ways to irritate your other half is a far more gallant road to follow. These include, but are not limited to: Excessive drinking, unusual new cultural tastes or hobbies, gross or embarrassing public habits or unreasonable bedroom demands.

2. The phase out.
By far the most reliable of all tactics is the phase out. Cancelling plans without an explanation, calling less or responding to texts or emails in a tardy and abrupt manner is a good start. If you allow a relationship to fizzle out naturally, when it comes to officially breaking up, there won’t be much left for either party to try and save anyway.

3. Don’t be a coward.
Man up and don’t reel off a list of feeble excuses or clichés. ‘It’s not you, its me’ or ‘I just need some space’ is just an insulting way of admitting you’ve actually found someone else. Similar caution must be paid to the delivery method. This should only ever be made in person. We may live in an iWorld but under no circumstances is an email or text acceptable.  A handwritten letter or fax , however quirky the intention, will only serve as a permanent painful reminder of your heartbreak. Try breaking the news in a public place, there is less chance of a scene if you’re surrounded by people.

4. Be sure you want to break up.
This may appear to be the glaringly obvious reason you’re even reading this list, but careful consideration of the outcome you’re after is required. Do you want to break up, or just go on a break? The two are very different so if you’re committed to the cause of ending it, make sure the other party doesn’t confuse the terms. In saying this, a break can be a fantastic way to refresh a stale relationship, but only very seldom works without a hitch.